The sunshine leaves me wordless today…
I wanted to be awesome, to share with you the most well thought words, inspire beauty and poetry out of you, make you sing with me like making love with me, and together we’d worship the sun and bask in all His glory. Yet I cannot be as grand as the Sun. He shines on me and does not burn me. Warms me and makes me glow. Fills me with beauty and lifts my moods. Makes the frozen lake here shine like a giant crystal, and, for a moment, the light visits me, takes form, seems to invite me to walk across the ice… the talking ice, creaking and expanding, thumping with life, still dangerously thin, reminding me the water underneath is still alive and moving. But the sunshine is like the moonlight illusions that dance in between the trees at night. Tempting and calling me to step beyond this world.
Yet I do not want to leave this one behind. I have too many friends here. There is too much here to love. I have to stay and wait under this sun.
As the wind creates snow serpents slithering across the ice, sending the trees dancing, I hug myself close like I would hold you, and remember that as the sun triumphs over the longest nights, the darkness never lasts forever. At some point we all have to come home. The light is left on for us. It never goes out. Even when we are in places when night happens at a different time and day is hotter, even when here is colder, the seasons will pass as they always do, and the words I’ll write next spring may be ones far lustier.
For now, as already the sun fades and promises to be back earlier tomorrow, I crawl back home and grumble like a bear eager to hibernate. The cold reminds me it’s the perfect time to be in a cave, to return to the womb, and create and dream and sleep away all my missing-yous.