There are times when I am so caught up in doing all I can to be awesome, I forget to take a break and be reminded by a friend that what I’m already doing is awesome. Sometimes I do not allow myself to relax. I’m too busy worrying and giving myself a hard time. There is always a voice inside me never giving me a break. What are you doing just lying there?! GET UP! Stop doing nothing, you loser! Like I’ll suffer all kinds of bad karma if I stay in bed another fifteen minutes, and when I do, instead of enjoying a bit of lazy time, I end up curling into a weeping ball of feeling-sorry-for-myself ill-productivity.
There are times when I feel guilty for doing nothing, especially during the dead cold days of winter when there seems all one can do is nothing. I usually always find something to do. It is the best thing about living a solitary life; having the time and freedom to concentrate on making art and writing without interruption. I live for what I do because that is all I have to do. Yet there are the days when the motivation is not there and my depression threatens to disrupt everything. I have to stop and take one step at a time.
Over the last seven years I have trained and disciplined myself to better control my emotions, but I still have to take the time to let the tears flow, and I do cry often. More so than the average person, and few people will ever understand why it is necessary for me to weep. They think I cry to get attention, but I cry for a release, often feeling much better afterwards, just like spitting out a poison before it gets a chance to infect the rest of my body. I do not have to let my emotions control my life, but I have to remember to take the extra time to cope with them, and this means occasionally remembering to be lazy.
The key to being productively lazy is to do so in a way that means you will be taking care of yourself. It may sound stupid to plan on relaxing, but some people really have to schedule it in because they have to keep to a schedule that normally does not allow them to relax (sad as that may seem). In order to do any good in the world, you first have to start with yourself. If you are not taking care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else who needs your help.
The first step is to not do anything. Put aside anything that requires a lot of thought and just have a good lie down. Stay in bed for at least a few minutes longer than you usually do. Don’t be in a hurry to get up. And when you do get up, do it like a yawn, moving each limb in slow motion and revel in the joy of how you move — from the tips of your fingers down to your toes. Enjoy your pillows, listen to music, have a warm bath, move slowly, and when you eat, savor each bite of food as if it is going to be your last meal on Earth. I mean it.
Do that all day.
The next steps are to not plan anything. Just be yourself. No pressure.
The last step is to sit and let time slip away. The night is for further enjoyment, but now you should get out and watch people. Or animals. Or the ocean. Or just watch the stars. Whatever feels great. Let each moment speak to you. Now you are getting the idea.
Go get your lazy on and feel better about yourself. Tomorrow you’ll be more refreshed to tackle the challenges the world will offer you!