I don't know where to begin, except to start at the trail of my tears, and trace back to a place of calm, somewhere where I can recount a time when maybe there was a time when I sincerely felt solace in this space. I cannot find it now except in this inner temple where … Continue reading We Carry Them With Us, Always
When I heard about his death, I knew it wasn't a joke. Yet, like the song, it seemed like he "started a joke that sent the whole world crying..." Oh, Robin, sweet Mr. Williams, I wish that one smile of my own could have kept you alive. But no matter now that I'm not laughing, … Continue reading I’m Not Laughing, But I Will Smile for Robin
Much has changed since last New Year's Eve. I've been unable to bring myself to write much. Perhaps because I've been more active outside than on the inside these past months since the death of my closest companion. 2013 seemed to be a year of many transformations, actual death being just one of them. The … Continue reading Should Old Acquaintance be Forgot…
This midnight is better than last year's This midnight is better than when you last appeared This midnight's better when that old friend disappeared This midnight's better because the spirits' near and cuddling And Lou sang: "*Magician, Magician take me upon your wings and ... gently roll the clouds away I'm sorry so sorry I have … Continue reading Magic and Loss
I cannot wrap my head, or heart, around it, and so perhaps that is why it stings my consciousness -- how can anyone stand the pain of a love not meant to last, or dare go into a relationship only meant to last for a short while? Some say 'better to have loved or not … Continue reading Love with an Expiration Date?
It is an almost dyingthis mourning I doa storm-rage pushingcome here and go awayIt is an unfair livingthis voluntary cursea floating banshee keeningwanting be here and seeking awaydiamond-like in its hardness how it grows insidedark coal in the meat of my heart breathing out dust My ghost produced a sparkin me once … Continue reading Blood Under the Ice
Dear Mom, I do not remember what you looked like the first day of my life, but I will always remember what you looked like on the last day of your life. It still bothers me that you left on that sunny day, March 23rd 2010 (a day that would have been your favorite kind … Continue reading The Last Time I Saw Her Face