postcards from home, self portrait

Postcard #37: Hippy Kamikaze?

I started the second and third week of July doing some volunteer work I enjoy. The days I had to step out into the heat, I decided to wear one of my Guatemalan headbands. One of my favorites is a hand-stitched cotton band that folds out into a bonnet, perfect for days when I need something to keep sweat out of my eyes. The funniest thing that happened while I wore that headband that day…

I know a cute Korean couple who own a frame and print business downtown, and as I walked by their place, they just couldn’t get over how my new red hair color matched the flowers on my headband!

“It’s like you are a hippy Kamikaze!” The husband laughed and could NOT stop laughing. His wife’s smile was infectious, too. The two of them made me giggle really hard. Hippy Kamikaze! Indeed. I’ll be remembering that one for a long while.

I wish I had more to write today.  I procrastinated my writing a lot this week.  Normally I like to write my “postcards from home” every Sunday to mark each end and beginning of every week, but…  my urge to draw has overcome desires to write.  NOT that I don’t have anything to write about.  My mind is always full.

Even though I am lonely due to being frustrated because I can’t seem to hook up with friends, I have to practice some temperance.  I have no one to talk to lately and it makes me panic.  I don’t know whether to stay silent and disappear, or keep waiting for responses to my replies, comments, and endless trails of words, yet now I have to stop and get back to writing for myself.  Still… I start to feel guilty for expressing myself at all to my friends, especially when I forget to consider that other people I don’t know read what I write to them and freak out over the nice things (I kid you not) I have to say.  I only wish I could be the kind of friend I am to myself as I am for others, so I do what I do, and all I can do is write, and just wait.  In the meantime, I’m concentrating on my drawing.  I have a great purpose to fulfill — working on a playing card deck I hope I’ll finish at the end of the month — it’ll afford me the key to making my dreams come true.

I have to keep believing.  Keeping going.  I’m almost there!  August will be a time of greatness for me.

Because I’m going to make it be so.